Destiny’s Hand
by Jaythorne
Summary: Are Vash and Meryl meant to be? What will happen to Millie? What about Knives? It seems their fate is held in the hands of destiny... but where does the outcome lie?
1. Beautifully Broken

**Destiny's Hand**

**Chapter 1 - Beautifully Broken**

_What... is this? What is this feeling? This... warmth? This cold? This joy? This sorrow?_

_How can I feel them all at once?_

_I feel so lost... so erratic. So... __**broken.**_

_Where am I...? Why am I here? What good... will it do me? It's like waiting for a dream to come true, while all it's really doing is making my heart ache with longing... I feel I should leave. Yet for that very reason, I need to stay. But why? Could I really love him...? No... I __**know**__ I love him. Maybe more than I could possibly bear. But..._

_...does he love me?_

_I would die to know that he loved me. If only we could __**be**__... but no, we can never be. 'The ones who live outside of time'... heh. Why... why must life be so cruel at times? So... so painful. So unfair. I cry these tears... they are probably in vain. He won't cry for my absence, I know. He'll forget about me... I'm that unimportant... so insignificant. But that doesn't soften the ache I feel, the part of me that feels... gone. Missing. Heh... oh, Vash... if you only knew how you've stolen my heart._

_Then again..._

_...maybe this is best... you don't need any more pain... don't __**deserve**__ any more pain... and if I ever told you, it would cause just that. I must keep my emotions hidden deep, deep in my heart, where you will never see... I __**refuse**__ to cause you any more pain._

_You've had enough pain..._

_...Too much pain..._

_So I must sacrifice myself... my heart... and though I would die to know you loved me... we are both better off..._

_... alone.

* * *

_

The wind howled and beat savagely against the window Meryl was gazing absentmindedly out of, totally succumbed to her own private, melancholy thoughts. She barely noticed the now tepid cup of coffee tightly clutched in her hands, nor the midnight chime of the ancient grandfather clock in the hallway. Like so many other nights she had been unable to sleep, and to restless to relax, had trekked downstairs, made a cup of coffee which she never drank, and sat and stared out the window, surrendering to her troubled thoughts.

In sudden irritation she rose from the table and quietly glided over to the couch and lay down, stretching out her sore spine from sitting so long. She gave a deep sight and closed her eyes wearily, but she was still far from her much-needed sleep. Oftentimes she had futilely tried to convince herself this was for the best, but she would always fail... how could this be right, when it felt so wrong? She struggled to repress the tears that threatened to fall. How could this be right... if she suffered so?

'_Dang you, Vash.' _Meryl thought solemnly. _'Why did I have to fall in love with you?'_

Her heart gave a painful thump and with it a sudden wave of fatigue washed over her. She gratefully welcomed the darkness, and soon was deep asleep, lost to her dreams.

Millie watched her suffering friend mutely from her place in the darkened stairwell, her own heart beating a painful rhythm in her chest. She stared sadly at Meryl as she moved to cover her small, broken friend with a blanket she had carried downstairs. Indeed in the past few months Meryl had grown more and more distant and melancholy. She had lost a lot of weight, and her once-beautiful violet-gray eyes had lost their fiery blaze. Her hair, also, had been neglected; it had not been cut and flowed freely to her shoulders. The whole scene pained Millie to no end, and she sighed as she shuffled into the kitchen, taking Meryl's previous seat in front of her untouched cup of coffee.

Millie knew she was hurting, and hurting bad. It was of no help that the small insurance girl refused to let anyone in, instead putting on the almost-convincing mask that 'all was fine' every day. But her eyes always betrayed her. Millie saw this so many times, and every time she felt more and more helpless. She could only pray that Vash would come back and save Meryl, because Millie knew very well she could not... and Vash was the only one who could.

Yet what would happen if Vash did come back? He was a Plant, after all. And he would most likely be accompanied by his brother, Knives.

Millie sighed again and rose, slowly climbing up the stairs laden with a very heavy heart. She made her way deftly back to her room, and upon entering slowly climbed into bed.

'_I guess destiny is just not on our side, huh?' _She thought sadly as she pulled up the covers of her bed. _'We both know that, don't we, Nicholas?'_

She glanced over at the picture of them on the dresser, and gently picked it up. She brushed her fingers slowly over the glass between her and the picture before solemnly placing it back face down on the surface, so the picture was no longer visible.

"I guess we're all destined to end up alone, hmm?" She whispered, and a single, silvery tear rolled down her cheek.

* * *

**Yay! Another fanficcy!!! XD Yeah, I know like a bajillion fanfics start out like this, but this is my own private rendition... But this fist part is really sort of a prologue, that's why it's short... the next chapter is longer. :)**

**Yeah, I know my other fanfic 'Forbidden Love' is not finished, but I'm taking a break for a while so this will sort of be my fall-back... I'm going through a bit of writer's block, so yeah...**

**Luv ya all! Reviews are insporational and make me eager to write! _-Jayrynn-_**


	2. Return

**Chapter 2 - Return**

Meryl barely noticed the day as it flew by like so many others. She was only vaguely aware that her shift was over; that she was donning her cloak and starting to walk home. She was too lost in her thoughts, like so many other days... and was not often awakened from her trance-like state.

But today, she would be.

Millie was racing up to her, calling her name over and over.

"Meryl, Meryl!" The tall brunette was jumping up and down ecstatically, obviously excited about something.

"What is it, Millie?" Meryl said, slowly emerging from her revere.

"Oh, Meryl! We struck water!"

At this Meryl fully snapped out of her trance. "Water?!"

The pair flew down the street together toward the main water line. Meryl flinched as something cold landed on her cheek. She brought a tentative hand up against it and then lowered the hand again to stare at it.

"Water." She whispered. She gazed up at the geyser of water that towered over them, dumbfounded. "Water!" She cried joyously, and Millie let out a triumphant whoop.

The town was dancing around them, and the air was full of hoots and trills. Water rained down as if from heaven itself, and Meryl basked in the sudden excitement. She hadn't been this happy in a long time.

But Millie's sudden, quiet gasp caught all her attention.

"Oh, Meryl." She whispered and Meryl barely heard over the noise.

"It's Mr. Vash."

The world seemed to fall silent around her, and she almost reluctantly followed Millie's pointing finger. Her eyes landed on the far-off figure; even from this distance she could see the erratic, spiked blonde hair. Millie, if course, immediately thrust herself from the spot and bolted toward him. Meryl herself even ran a few steps before she caught herself, slowing her gait to a hesitant walk. She tried to keep her self calm and impassive, but indeed it was proving very difficult. With every new step the urge to run into his arms grew stronger and stronger until it was almost unbearable. But upon reaching him, she was still in cool control.

Vash smiled widely as Millie rocketed up, and he carefully lowered his burden from his shoulder to the ground, then threw his arms wide for her unavoidable hug. Indeed she nearly knocked him off his feet as she barreled into him full-force, engulfing the outlaw in a rather painful, bone-crushing hug.

"Oh, Mr. Vash! You came back!" She babbled, and the halcyon outlaw smiled. "Oh, is that you brother, Mr. Knives? Goodness, he looks like he's in bad shape, Mr. Vash! We need to treat his wounds! I'll take him up to the spare room."

Vash was about to protest he could do it when Meryl quietly joined the group, and he lost all hope for words as he looked at her. All he could do was smile.

Meryl looked up at Vash, but as he smiled she instantly forgot what she was going to say.

"Hey, Meryl." He spoke softly after a moment, his aqua eyes thoughtful, but a bit tired.

"Hello, Vash." she said after she regained her voice. She yearned to say something more, but it had been forgotten the moment Vash had smiled down at her. So, she led him up to the house, where Millie met them in the living room where they had taken their seats.

"I put Mr. Knives up in the spare bedroom." Millie announced happily, "I'll just need to get the bandages to change his dressings..."

"I'll do that." Vash hopped up off the couch to head upstairs, but his legs refused and buckled beneath him. Both insurance girls rushed forward to catch him, helping him back up on the couch. Only then did Meryl notice how injured he was.

"Oh, Vash." She whispered almost inaudibly, pain in her voice.

The blonde gunman was impossibly rigid; his breaths came in erratic, short gasps as he tried to overcome the sudden pain in his legs.

"I'll take care of Mr. Knives, Meryl, if you take care of Mr. Vash." Millie reasoned, and Meryl agreed.

Both girls departed to fetch the necessary supplies. Once laden down with bandages and disinfectant, Meryl returned to Vash's side, and Millie climbed the stairs to the spare bedroom.

The wounded gunslinger was doubled over, his prosthetic arm pressed weakly against his bleeding thigh. He seemed unaware of Meryl as she hesitantly kneeled down next to him, depositing the bandages on the table next to the couch.

"Vash?" She whispered gently, afraid to touch him.

The outlaw's eyes snapped open and regarded her wearily, the aqua depths dark with pain. He attempted to smile, but only managed a pained grimace.

"I'll be alright." He whispered unconvincingly and attempted to rise again, but Meryl stopped him.

"Take off your boots and roll up your leggings." She ordered firmly in her 'do it now or else' tone that Vash only knew too well. He did as he was bade without further argument, and Meryl began gingerly cleaning the wound and bandaged it. She did the same for the twin shot through his opposite thigh.

Upon finishing Vash thanked her quietly and started rolling down his leggings again, but Meryl caught the way he winced as he grabbed for his boots. She held up a hand to stop him.

"Take off your shirt."

The gunman paused and regarded her with his startled aqua eyes for a moment before a crooked smile tugged at his lips.

"Nothing gets past you, eh, Shortie?" He murmured softly as he gingerly started to remove his black body armor. He bit his lip, the pain evident on his face. His breath came in erratic, short gasps that unwillingly escaped his lips from the pain. Meryl helped to completely remove it, leaving his torso bare. Like his thighs, he had twin gunshots through his shoulders.

"Oh, Vash." She whispered, bringing a hand to her mouth. Vash smiled crookedly again and leaned back against the couch, wincing. With his torso in arms reach Meryl began cautiously cleaning the wounds. Vash closed his eyes and didn't speak, save the involuntary gasp that hissed through his teeth as Meryl gingerly dabbed the disinfectant against his shoulder.

Meryl finished quickly, bandaging the injuries firmly with gauze. A vague thought flashed across her mind to find Vash a blanket so he could sleep on the couch; she hadn't the heart to move him. But another stronger urge held her in place, and before she knew what she was doing, she leaned in closer to the outlaw, tentatively stretching out her hand toward him.

She ran her gentle, eager fingertips across his collarbone, her mind suddenly blank, only focusing on her task. Slowly she traced over all the scars on his chest, the stitch marks, the gashes. She wasn't afraid anymore... only that first time when she and Millie had caught him just outside his shower. But now Meryl understood these melancholy reminders represented why Vash had to go on, and in turn they represented who he was.

They were beautiful in Meryl's eyes.

Suddenly she realized what she was doing and swiftly rose in her quest to find a blanket, the color rising in her cheeks. She was thankful that the selfless outlaw had been unconscious.

But, in fact, he had not.

Vash had been on the verge of darkness when he first felt the soft touch of something brushing across his collarbone. It took him a moment to realize that it was Meryl's fingertips tracing gentle patterns across his clavicle, his torso, his many, many scars. It felt so strange; usually it was these very fingers giving him a wallop. Nonetheless at that moment all thought of sleep had evaporated and his senses sharpened on instinct with acute accuracy. He repressed a pleasant shiver as he felt her trace over the old wounds ever so softly; her delicate fingers felt like heaven. But all too soon the touch vanished and he felt her rise and glide almost soundlessly across the room and back, then lay a blanket over him. He stayed perfectly still as she tucked it firmly around his bare chest, careful not to disturb his newly acquired wounds. Before she straightened again, Vash could have sworn he felt the almost undetectable touch of her hand sweeping his hair out of his face.

Just then Millie appeared at the stairs to announce that she had finished with Knives, and Meryl suggested they let both Plants sleep. Millie agreed, and the pair made their way into the kitchen to make dinner.

Vash lay motionlessly on the couch, consumed by his confused, jumbled thoughts. What had just happened? Did Meryl, Derringer Meryl, O Dangerous Short One, really just do that? Ever since Vash had arrived the small insurance girl had been acting so strange... her usual spitfire temper had not surfaced; instead replaced with a calm, reserved Meryl... it was unnerving. He wondered exactly what had happened while he was gone. What could have happened to make Meryl act this way?

His thoughts were interrupted as a sudden wave of fatigue washed over him, and he relaxed. Too tired to think, he gladly slipped into darkness.

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**XD -pushes review button towards the reader-**


	3. Definitely Meryl, Right?

**I'm BACK!! XD Hehehe... I'm finally through with the grading period (and am passing) and we got good marks at competition... XD So ta-da, here is chapter 3 of Destiny's Hand! Reviews much appriciated. XD**

**_-Jayrynn_**

* * *

Chapter 3 - Definitely Meryl... Right?

Vash woke late the next morning, and stifled a groan as he raised a hand to block out the obnoxious noonday light. Pulling himself into a sitting position, he yawned and started to stretch, but stopped when the throbbing pain in his shoulder worsened. He sighed wearily and reached up his prosthetic hand toward his hair to run his fingers through the limp, unruly golden locks, making a vague mental note to comb it. But a sudden, soft clatter in the kitchen caught his attention. Carefully rising from the couch, he ignored the searing pain in his legs and made for the kitchen.

Meryl was at the sink, washing the dishes. She was humming ever so softly under her breath, in sync with the rhythm of scrubbing the plates. Vash watched her for a moment, a small smile tugging at his lips. Suddenly sensing him, Meryl turned and almost smiled. Very uncharacteristic of her, Vash thought.

"You should still be resting, Vash. You won't heal ambling about the house."

Nope, definitely Meryl. Vash gave her a goofy grin.

"Sorry." He apologized. "I thought you would be at work."

She shook her head. "I couldn't leave you here all alone... the house might've been in shambles by the time I got back." She made her face very serious.

Vash chuckled, but his legs suddenly felt very wobbly. Clinging to the counter for support, he eased himself towards the kitchen table and sat down. Meryl watched him, frowning.

"Really, Vash, you should get back to bed... I'll bring you breakfast."

Vash shook his head defiantly. "I'll be alright. Just a little tired, is all." He smiled brightly at her, but Meryl could still see the slight shade of pain in his intense aqua eyes. She smiled slightly and shook her head.

"You are so stubborn." She chuckled, putting aside the dishes to warm up some of the leftover coffee. Vash watched her intently, never taking his eyes off her. Was this really the Meryl he had left? She seemed so... how could he even describe it...?

His thought was interrupted as Meryl placed a mug of hot coffee in front of him, which he gratefully accepted. They sat in silence for a while, lost in their own thoughts and in their drinks. Suddenly, Meryl spoke.

"What happened?"

Vash looked up into her intense eyes; a beautiful shade of violet-gray. How could he have forgotten them? Momentarily stunned, he hesitated in answering.

"I went to fight Knives." He answered her quietly, keeping his face impassive. Meryl still kept her unnerving, violet gaze on him, searching his face. Letting out a sigh, she turned her eyes downward toward the table before her.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked..." She trailed off, a slight pink rising in her cheeks. Vash was stunned.

"It's alright." He said quietly, feeling a bit guilty himself. "You... you have the right to know."

Meryl looked up at him questioningly, but he wasn't looking at her anymore. Instead he seemed lost staring into the black depths of his coffee. He proceeded in telling her all that had happened from the moment he had walked out of their door, to fighting Knives, to the moment he had finally located their town and approached it, where he had been reunited with both her and Millie. Falling silent once more, he glanced up at Meryl's face.

"Thank you." She spoke quietly after a moment, smiling slightly. "For telling me."

Vash nodded, unable to think of anything else to say. Instead Meryl spoke again.

"You'd better get back to bed, Vash, you need your rest. Plus Millie would kill me if she came home and found you floundering about the kitchen!"

Vash smiled slightly at the thought, knowing perfectly well that's what Millie would do. Setting down his empty coffee cup he carefully pulled himself up, testing his legs. Feeling steady, he started toward the living room, but his legs gave out beneath him.

Meryl rushed to his side, barely able to keep him up with her tiny stature. Vash reached out and grasped the counter for support, taking some of the weight from Meryl's shoulders. They swayed unsteadily together for a moment before Vash regained is balance.

"Thanks." He mumbled to Meryl, hoping she could not see the color rising in his cheeks.

She said nothing, but continued helping him toward the couch. Upon reaching it he laid down, letting out an almost inaudible moan. Meryl collapsed into a nearby chair, suddenly exhausted. She looked up at Vash, who was massaging one thigh with his prosthetic arm to lessen the pain.

"How on Gunsmoke did you ever get here in that condition?" She questioned half-jokingly.

Vash smiled slightly at the remark. "I guess I'm just stubborn." Was his cryptic answer. Meryl almost smiled.

"Well, you stay in bed, you hear me? You can't walk and you shouldn't try to. Your wounds haven't had a proper chance to heal."

A crooked, playful grin crossed his lips. "There's the Meryl I remember."

It took a lot of willpower to keep her face straight. "Oh, really? Have you forgotten this part?" With that, she thwacked him smartly on the top of his head, causing the Plant to yelp and raise up his arms in defense.

"Mercy, mercy!" He pleaded, unable to hide his smile. "Wounded, remember?"

She couldn't hold back her grin this time. "You didn't think of that before you limped into the kitchen, now did you?"

Vash opened his mouth to protest, but thought better of it and raised his hands in defeat, smiling all the way. "You win," he admitted, "I'll be good."

Meryl suppressed a laugh as she turned back to the kitchen, returning to the dishes. Vash gently eased himself back onto the couch, pushing away the limp strands of hair that had fallen into his eyes. He was still smiling as he drifted off to sleep again.

* * *

Millie stopped buy the grocery store before she went home, gathering up more food for the two new house guests. She made sure to buy some donuts for Vash, and of course her favorite pudding cups.

Pushing to door open, she called softly to Meryl, afraid to wake Vash, who was still fast asleep in the living room. Meryl emerged from the kitchen, and helped her bring the bags in, then to stow them away in their appropriate cupboards. Upon finishing this task, they both started cooking dinner, quietly sharing the days' experiences. Meryl didn't have much to tell, but Millie had been asked out on a date by one of her fellow co-workers digging the well.

"Oh, that's wonderful, Millie! Is he nice?"

"Oh yes, Sempai. He's very nice. But..."

"But what, Millie?"

"I... I don't know if I'm ready... yet..."

Meryl looked up sadly at her friend. Millie was still mourning the loss of her beloved priest, and Meryl could scarcely imagine what she might be going through, giving aid to the man who had killed him(well, ordered him to be killed).

"I think you should go on the date, Millie. I think it will do you some good. You need to get away from everything for a bit." Meryl knew this was a pointless argument; since they had started living her Millie had been asked out several times, all of which she had turned down.

Millie shook her head, but smiled. "Who would take care of Mr. Vash and Mr. Knives? I need to be here now; you can't do it all by yourself, sempai!" Millie smiled again and Meryl dropped the conversation, knowing it was hopeless. When Millie made up her mind there was no reckoning with her.

Just then Meryl caught sight of a bag on the table, and she looked questioningly at it. Had she forgotten to put it away? Millie caught her gaze and explained that they were new clothes for Vash and Knives, when the woke up. Meryl smiled, Millie really did think of everything. Excusing herself she took the bag and walked into the living room to set it down on the coffee table in front if the couch, where Vash would be sure to see it. Setting it down, she looked up at the couch.

Vash's tall, lanky form was stretched out across it, with one arm resting lightly across the tight plain of his stomach, and the other trailing off onto the floor. His hair had fallen limply over his face, like it had that morning, tumbling in short, golden streams over his eyes. Meryl smiled at his slightly comical appearance as she watched him, noting the gentle rise and fall of his chest and the occasional soft snore.

But as she turned back toward the kitchen, he spoke. She turned back, staring into his intense aqua eyes.

"Evening, Meryl." He mumbled, stifling a yawn.

"Evening." She replied, but frowned as he made to sit up. She walked over to help him, gently pulling him to a sitting position. She hadn't realized how weak he really was.

"Thanks." He mumbled in embarrassment, the color rising slightly in his cheeks. She nodded and waved it away, then indicated to the bag oh the coffee table.

"Millie bought you and Knives some new clothes." She shrugged simply, then stood. "Dinner will be ready soon, so don't dawdle."

Vash nodded and reached for the bag as Meryl returned to the kitchen. Sometime later with dinner almost on the table, she checked back with Vash, peering cautiously into the living room. He was sitting on the sofa wearing his new pants, with one arm through the new shirt on his bare torso, breathing deeply. He seemed to have taken a small rest from dressing himself. Then he slowly raised up the shirt to pull it around his back, but winced, shutting his eyes tight and gritting his teeth together. He tried vainly to push his bare arm through the elusive shirt sleeve, but missed time and time again. Clearly frustrated, he let the shirt slip from his grasp and lay back against the couch, trying to even out his breaths.

Meryl bit her lip; it was painful to watch him struggling so. She had never seen him this way... he had always seemed so strong to her, holding Millie and herself up during the hard times and all the times in between. How many times had he saved their lives? That he had risked his life for them?

She left her concealed position by the door and cautiously approached the couch. She sat down gently next to the wounded Plant, but he didn't seem to acknowledge her. She raised up a hesitant hand and grasped the end of his shirt, then carefully stroked his shoulder with the other. He jumped slightly, and his aqua hues snapped down toward her face. She smiled slightly at him, then held up the end of the shirt so Vash could slip his naked arm into the sleeve. Thankful but clearly embarrassed, the Plant complied and thanked her softly, keeping his eyes set on fastening the buttons. Meryl gave him an unseen smile and stood, telling him that she would bring his dinner out to him. She turned back toward the kitchen.

"Meryl." Vash caught her hand, and she halted, turning back toward him. The aqua hues were unreadable for a moment, but he quickly bowed his head so she could not see his eyes. He hesitated for a moment before speaking, as if he was debating over what to say.

"I'd like to eat dinner with you and Millie... in the kitchen." He said softly, still keeping his eyes hidden.

Meryl tired to look stern. "You should get your rest."

Vash finally looked up at her. "I know. But... I haven't seen either of you... for so long."

Meryl was shocked for a moment by his words, but she quickly regained herself.

"Alright. But the moment you get tired it's straight back to bed, you hear me?"

Vash nodded, and a triumphant grin spread across his face. He slowly rose, testing out his legs. Finding them steady enough, he wobbled into the kitchen with Meryl close at his heels.

"Oh, Mr. Vash!" Millie cried as he entered the kitchen, shaking a wooding spoon at him comically. "You should be in bed!"

Vash smiled again as he carefully lowered himself into a chair at the table. "I wanted to come have dinner with the two of you... I've been cooped up in bed all day and haven't had the chance to properly talk to you yet."

Millie smiled at him happily as she and Meryl laid out dinner, then took their seats at the table. Vash said little, but asked them about what had happened in his absence. They talked about their jobs, the news, the well... any and every little thing that had happened in the few months Vash had been missing from their lives. By the end of dinner, Vash sat back happily, apparently satisfied with their stories.

"What about you Mr. Vash?" Millie inquired blindly, standing to take her plate to the sink. Vash's smile faltered for a small moment, but he quickly replaced it. He proceeded to retell the same story he had only told Meryl that very morning. It still seemed so surreal.

Millie said nothing while she listened, keeping her face impassive, but attentive. At the end of the tale, she smiled again.

"Well, I'm certainly glad you won, Mr. Vash! Maybe we can change Mr. Knives' mind."

Vash stared at her dumbly for a minute before a small smile tugged his lips. That was Millie... everyone else always came first. But he still knew how hard this mush be on her... after all, Knives had ordered the death of her beloved priest.

"Thank you, Millie... it really means a lot to me."

She smiled again and rose to clear away the dishes. "You'd better get off to bed, Mr. Vash! It's late and you need your rest."

Vash nodded mutely and slowly pulled himself up, but not as slow as the last time. He teetered bravely back into the living room before collapsing on the couch again. Meryl watched the comical outlaw flop down face first on the pillows, and not much later she could hear his soft snores.

Meryl joined Millie in cleaning up the kitchen, clearing and washing the plates. Millie hummed happily next to her, drying the dishes. They both worked in silence for a while.

"I'm glad Mr. Vash is back." Millie said suddenly.

Meryl glanced up at her tall friend. "Me too."

Millie was silent for another moment.

"I missed him."

A pause.

"I missed him too, Millie. I missed him, too."

* * *

**-pushes the review button towards the reader- XDDD**


	4. Could This Be Real?

**A/N: Gah! Soooooo sorry it took so long!! But ta-da, another chappie for you! Hope you all likey!! :D Näkemiin!! **

* * *

**Chapter 4 - Could This Be Real?**

"I think we should celebrate."

Both Vash and Meryl turned to stare at Millie.

"Really?" Vash said unsurely. "It's not that big of a deal..."

"Why, yes it is, Mr. Vash! It's your first job! We should celebrate it."

Vash smiled and raised a hand to rub the back of his neck nervously. "Well..."

"How about we go to that fair for the well that's coming up?"

Both Vash and Millie turned in surprise toward Meryl.

"Why, that's a great idea, Sempai!"

Vash simply nodded, still in shock Meryl had actually suggested they go to a fair. "Okay."

Meryl gave them a small smile. _'Does she actually look a bit shy?'_ Vash thought vaguely. But the emotion vanished and Meryl turned towards the kitchen, calling over her shoulder dinner would be ready soon.

* * *

"Hooray, a fair!" Millie trilled brightly, clapping her hands together in her enthusiasm. Jack chuckled by her side, lacing his arm through hers. Millie, much to the satisfaction of Vash and Meryl, had finally accepted a date. Jack Aubrey was a fine man with soft features and a kind heart. He understood Millie's loss and that she had to take it slow, so he was always patient and open to her in turn.

Much to Vash and Meryl's dismay, however, she had chosen this day to have their date.

"Bye Sempai! Bye Mr. Vash! Have fun!" she called as they parted ways, heading toward the game booths.

"Bye." The remaining pair waved somewhat listlessly. Vash and Meryl glanced at each other uncertainly.

"Well, um... what are we gonna do now?" Vash asked nervously, reaching up a hand in the habitual motion to rub the back of his neck.

Meryl shrugged. "I don't know... I haven't been to a fair in ages."

Vash nodded. "Me either." He smiled. "I guess we could just walk around for a while."

Meryl gave a small nod and started off in one direction, with Vash falling in step beside her. They walked a while in silence before Meryl paused.

"What is it?" Vash asked, following her gaze.

"It's... cotton candy." she said somewhat shyly. "I haven't had cotton candy... since I was a kid."

Vash smiled as he saw her cheeks flush slightly, and gently took her hand.

"Cotton candy it is, then!" he chirped happily as he pulled her over to the vendor, purchasing two. He handed Meryl the violet one, and kept the blue one for himself. They walked onward, nibbling at the sugar-spun clouds delicately. They were walking for several minutes before Vash realized he had not let go of Meryl's hand.

Looking down, he froze in shock. Meryl, as well, stared in wonder at their intertwined fingers. Suddenly the spell broke and they both pulled away, and the atmosphere abruptly turned awkward.

"Um... sorry, Meryl, I'd forgotten..." Vash stuttered, eyeing her fists cautiously.

"It's alright, Vash." she said hurriedly, trying to calm the color in her cheeks. "Let's keep walking."

Vash quickly agreed and they strode on, stopping at occasional stands and game booths. Meryl convinced Vash to go for a thomas ride, which ended with Vash landing face-first on the ground. And, in return, Vash convinced Meryl to ride the small roller coaster on the grounds. Though it was very small, Meryl clung to the metal bar before her as if it was her buffer between life and death. Vash couldn't suppress a snicker as they exited the ride, and Meryl made sure to aim a good thwack at his head.

"Yeowch! That wasn't nice." he complained, rubbing his sore head.

"I should _never_ have agreed to go on that thing!" she shot back, giving him a half-hearted glare.

He smiled down at her, but then glanced up at the sky.

"Hey Meryl, it's getting dark. Want to go watch the fireworks?"

She thought for a moment. "Sure. Where are they going to be?"

Vash smiled at her and motioned her to follow him. He led her out of the fairgrounds and up a top the nearby cliffs, seating them both down on a large, flat plain on the rock.

"Vash, are you sure we'll be alright up here?"

He nodded brightly. "It's the best place to watch the fireworks."

He sat down, and she followed suit, stretching out her legs before her while leaning back on her hands. Soon, the fireworks started, lighting up the sky in random, beautiful, spasmodic bursts. She watched in awe at the brilliant flashes of color and light, but shivered. It was cold up on the cliffs, and Meryl had forgotten her jacket.

A sudden warmth engulfed her shoulders and she looked up in surprise. Vash had laid his warm jacket over her shoulders. She smiled slightly and looked over to Vash, who caught her eye and gave her a blithe smile. She turned away and grinned as the sky fell black for an instant. Suddenly she felt something else. She glanced down. Vash's hand had moved over hers, pressing against her pinky ever so softly. She was glad it was dark, as her cheeks flushed a slight, delicate pink. She glanced up at Vash, who still stared at the fireworks diligently. As if suddenly feeling her gaze, he turned to her, then to his hand touching her. But then he moved his hand, looking a but embarrassed.

"S-sorry, Meryl." He stuttered. His heartbeat quickened. Had he just touched Meryl's hand? And she let him? What was that feeling that had just come over him? He stole a glance up into her heather eyes. His heart fluttered strangely as he stared up into the sparkling, violet depths, and he looked away uncomfortably. What was this... feeling? It was different. Like nothing he'd ever felt before.

They sat in awkward silence for a moment before Meryl moved her hand over his, intertwining their fingers. Vash looked down and stared in wonder. How could something such as this feel so... right? He looked up into Meryl's face, and froze. It was if he had never really _looked _at her before: her short, silky raven hair, her elfish nose, her petite rosy lips, those sparkling heather eyes. It was as if she had been wearing a mask, and all of a sudden it had been ripped away. His heart gave an ecstatic leap as realization dawned on him... Meryl was much more than a friend. So much more.

"Meryl," he whispered, staring at her intently. She smiled.

"Vash," she said softly. The color in her cheeks rose ever so slightly, and Vash realized this was the first time she had ever truly opened up to him. But, as he thought about it, he realized all the times she had dropped hints, letting her actions speak for what she could not bring herself to say.

'_Was this real?' _Vash thought, holding his breath. _'Could Meryl really be...?'_

All hope of thought shattered as she reached out a delicate hand towards him and caressed his cheek, running her slight fingers over the smooth flesh. Vash closed his eyes and leaned his head gently into her touch. He felt her lean closer as well; he could feel her breath soft on his face, sweet and dainty. Her fingers danced lightly across his jawbone, sending a pleasurable shiver up his spine. Their closeness and her fingers on his face made it hard to breathe right, let alone think straight. But one thought seemed to burst into his head.

'_This is wrong.'_

He froze, holding his breath.

'_You'll only hurt her. This is wrong.'_

"No," Vash whispered, pulling away.

Meryl's hands held suspended in the air for a small, disappointed moment. "Vash—"

"No, Meryl, I... I can't... I can't..."

"Vash."

He shook his head and rose quickly, careful to avoid her gaze. He offered her his hand.

"Com'on. The fireworks have stopped. We should be getting back to town."

She hesitated for a moment before she took his outstretched hand with a heavy heart. Together they trekked mutely back to the darkened fairgrounds, then to their home. They parted at the stairs; Vash to his room and Meryl to hers. Shutting the door quietly, Meryl sat down heavily on her bed, cradling her head in her hands. Suddenly she realized she still wore Vash's jacket over her shoulders. Removing it, she paused, staring down at it in wonder. Gathering it up in her arms, she hugged it close, breathing in the lingering scent of gunpowder, hair gel, sand. It smelled like _him_. She loved it. Oh, how she loved it.

She sighed deeply, then gently folded the jacket and hung it over a nearby chair.

* * *

"Hup. Hup. Hup. Hup..."

The early morning silence was broken by the soft, echoing noise. It was almost inaudible, so quiet Meryl wondered if it was what has awakened her. But, nonetheless, she was curious to who was making it... and why.

"Hup. Hup. Hup. Hup..."

Slipping out of bed, she padded silently down the hall towards the noise. She stopped in front of Vash's bedroom, pressing her ear up against the wood.

"Hup. Hup. Hup. Hup..."

Reaching out a tentative hand, she touched the doorknob. She shivered as she gripped the cold metal, but continued. She turned the knob slowly, deftly, careful not to make a single noise. Cracking the door she peeked inside, but couldn't see anything. Opening it cautiously, she withheld a shocked gasp.

Vash was inverted in the air, pushing himself up and down on one hand, with the other held against his back. On every push up his lips parted softly in a small gasp, his supporting arm trembling with the effort. His eyes were set in determined focus as he continued: up, down, up, down.

Meryl didn't know how long she watched him, fascinated. She stood quietly in the doorway, leaning up against it for support. Her eyes trailed lazily over his upside down body, and she frowned slightly, a sudden wave of sadness washing over her. Those scars... it wasn't fair to him. What a terrible thing for anyone to go through; all those battles, those sacrifices. But, Meryl knew, if you'd asked him, he wouldn't have it any other way.

Apparently finishing his exercises, Vash righted himself with a graceful movement, landing deftly on the floor in a crouch. He stood and stretched, but suddenly took notice of Meryl in the doorway. He jumped, startled, and stared.

"Meryl? What...?"

Her cheeks reddened. "I... I'm sorry, Vash... I didn't mean to..."

He shook his head slowly, still a bit shaken. "That's alright, Meryl... um..." He looked down for a moment, his cheeks going red. Scanning around quickly he picked up a shirt, moving to put it on, but Meryl arrested his hand in the air.

"Vash." He shied away from her touch, momentarily startled she had moved so quickly. She frowned.

"Vash," she continued, undeterred, "I'm sorry... about last night."

Vash stared at her for a moment before saying quietly, "It's... alright."

She nodded and moved away, eyes cast downward in unspoken disappointment.

"Meryl." Vash was shocked that it was his voice that spoke. How had her name come so readily and naturally to his lips?

She turned, her heather eyes curious. "Yes, Vash?"

"Um..." Vash bit his lip. What had made him stop her?

"Meryl? Vash?"

Both of them jumped at the sudden voice, but Meryl strode quickly out of the room towards it.

"Jack? Is that you? Is Millie with you?"

"Yeah. And Millie's here as well... but I think I might need a little help with her..."

"Of course." Meryl replied, trekking quickly downstairs. Together the two managed to transport Millie upstairs and into her bedroom, where they lay her on her bed. Jack bent over halfway, placing his hands on his knees and taking a deep breath.

"Well," he chuckled, "that was fun."

Meryl couldn't help but smile. "Thanks for bringing her, Jack. Did you two have fun last night?"

Jack nodded brightly, smiling. "Oh yes! She's such a wonderful gal... pretty, strong and brave. But don't worry, nothing happened last night." He raised his hands up in defense. "She just had one too many, is all."

The corner of Meryl's mouth twitched in a small smile. "It's alright, Jack... it's been know to happen."

Jack smiled again, then stole a glance at his watch. "Well, I'm sorry I have to go so soon, but I've got to be at work in a bit..."

"Of course." Meryl nodded as he made for the door. She turned back to Millie and pulled the covers over her, smiling softly as Millie mumbled incoherently in her sleep.

Vash watched silently from the door in wonder, his head filled with questions. What was happening between them? Was this really happening? Could he and Meryl be...? He shook his head. This couldn't be real.

...Could it?


	5. He's Awake

**Chapter 5 - He's Awake**

Later that morning Meryl seemed perfectly normal. She bustled around the house, cleaning, making lunch, washing clothes. Vash watched her with great interest, puzzled by her actions. He just didn't get her. How could someone change like that so quickly, then right back again just as fast? It was maddening. It was amazing.

He was pulled out of his thoughts by a shuffle and a yawn.

"Good morning, Mr. Vash." Millie yawned again, plopping sleepily down on the sofa.

Vash couldn't help but smile. "Good morning, Millie."

Another yawn.

"Oh, Millie. Good morning." Merl said, entering the room. Both Vash and Millie jumped slightly. "How was your date? Jack said it went well."

Millie couldn't hide her smile. "It was wonderful, Meryl! I had such a nice time with Jack. What about you? Did you and Mr. Vash have a fun night?"

Meryl and Vash stole a glance at each other nervously before their eyes darted away, color rising in their cheeks.

"It was fun, Big Girl," Vash supplied.

"It was nice," Meryl agreed sheepishly.

Millie raised her eyebrows slightly and nodded knowingly. "Ah."

Meryl gave her a peculiar look but let it slide, striding back into the kitchen. Millie took the chance to interrogate Vash.

"How did things really go, Mr. Vash?"

Vash's heartbeat picked up. "Well... um..."

"Vash?" Meryl had suddenly appeared at the doorway. "Could you help me with something in the kitchen for a moment?"

Vash sprung from the couch as if stung. "Of course," he said hurriedly, sighing in relief as he entered the kitchen.

Meryl continued to bustle about the kitchen as if Vash wasn't there. He waited patiently for a few moments, but the silent tension was too much.

"Thanks for saving me back there," he said in a low voice.

Meryl wouldn't meet his eye. "Sure."

Silence again.

"Um..." Vash rolled his eyes towards the ceiling, trying to think of something to talk about. So far, everything was coming up blank. Suddenly a sharp pain ripped through his head, and he doubled over in pain, kneeling on the linoleum floor while gripping his head between his hands. He bit his lip to stop the agonizing cry from escaping his throat.

Meryl was on her knees and at his side in an instant. "Vash! What's wrong?"

Another sharp pain. He shook his head. What was it?

'_Vash,' _a voice called simply. A chuckle rang in his head. Vash's eyes widened in horror and realization.

"Vash! Vash!" Meryl cried, clinging to his shoulders. Millie appeared at the kitchen doors.

"It's Knives," he rasped, turning to look at Meryl, eyes wide and dark. Meryl shivered, dreading the next words that were sure to come.

"He's awake."

* * *

Vash motioned for the girls to wait downstairs as he cautiously climbed the stairs to the guest bedroom. He padded deftly down the hall and slipped inside the room, locking the door after him. Then he turned slowly to face his brother, pressing his back up against the wood of the door.

Aqua met arctic ice as the twins stared at each other in silence, tension rolling off the air in thick, smothering waves. After a moment a small, wicked smile twitched upon Knives' face.

"Vash," he purred eerily, a smile in his voice. Vash repressed the urge to cringe.

"Knives," he acknowledged, tilting his head up slightly, narrowing his eyes.

Another silence.

"This... this _place,"_ Knives hissed, drawing out the words with sheer loathing. "_Spiders_ live here."

Vash gave a curt nod. "They helped us. They helped you. If it weren't for them we'd both be dead right now."

Knives arctic blue eyes narrowed. "Humans can be so stupid, can't they?"

Vash instantly read his brother's hostile thoughts. "No," he said sharply, aqua eyes burning, "You can't hurt them, Knives, I won't allow it."

Knives looked almost bored with his brother's outburst. "Really? Why should I not, Vash? Don't they deserve—?"

"No," Vash said again, his body impossibly rigid, _"I won't let you hurt them, Knives."_ He said slowly, dangerously, each word dripping with finality. "You will _not_ hurt Meryl or Millie. _Do you understand?"_

Knives eyes widened in genuine shock. Vash had never acted this way before. Even his features were out of place; his aqua eyes burned with sudden anger and his body was rigid and threatening. What could be so special about these two spiders? Knives' eyes narrowed. He would find out.

Suddenly pain erupted inside Vash's head again, and his muscles seized up in response. He could feel Knives fighting his way into his head, and instantly pulled up his barriers. Knives was shut out, and he scowled in irritation and slight shock.

"Since when have you been able to shut me out?" he demanded, glaring at his younger, happy-go-lucky twin, his anger bubbling as the blonde gunslinger smiled.

"I've had a lot of time to practice, haven't I?" he asked, a small smile tugging his lips. He turned back to the door and grasped the handle. "Are you hungry? I'll go get you some food."

Knives scowled at him. "Aren't you afraid I'll come and kill your precious pets?" he asked idly, keeping his voice threateningly smooth.

Vash's smile widened. "No. Not yet. You can't move a muscle."

Knives swore under his breath as Vash slipped out the door, bouncing down the stairs. The danged idiot was right. And there was nothing Knives could do about it.

...Yet.

* * *

**Yeah, I know it's been forever and it's short, but oh well... I haven't had near any inspiration on this story... -sigh- v.v**


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